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What’s Your Love Language?

My husband and I were talking tonight about someone I’ve met recently at homeschool co-op and I said that I think her love language is Acts of Service. He had no idea what I was talking about so I pulled out “Dr.Google” and looked it up so I could explain it to him. I read the book The 5 Love Languages a really long time ago, but I couldn’t really remember what they were off the top of my head.

5 Love Languages

I made him go through the test on the 5 Love Languages site and then did the same for myself so I could compare the two of us. It really didn’t surprise me a whole lot about our answers and really we match up pretty well. Before I get into our scores, here’s a little about each of the languages:

Acts of Service Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter. Finding ways to serve speaks volumes to the recipient of these acts.
Physical Touch Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face – they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive. Physical touch fosters a sense of security and belonging in any relationship.
Quality Time Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there – with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby – makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful. Quality Time also means sharing quality conversation and quality activities.
Words of Affirmation Words of Affirmation
Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important – hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten. Kind, encouraging, and positive words are truly life-giving.
Receiving Gifts Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous – so would the absence of everyday gestures. Gifts are visual representations of love and are treasured greatly.

Now here is my husband’s score:

9 Acts of Service

8 Physical Touch

8 Quality Time

4 Words of Affirmation

1 Receiving Gifts

Receiving gifts did not shock me at all, as he is not a gift person. I totally knew he liked the top three almost equally. Some of the times it did surprise me a bit that he would like words of affirmation more. I will have to keep that in mind. Now here’s my scores:

10 Acts of Service

7 Physical Touch

6 Quality Time

4 Receiving Gifts

3 Words of Affirmation

As you can see, gifts ranks a little higher on mine than him. I’m not materialistic, I just like knowing that he saw something that made him think of me and he wanted to give it to me. I definitely like acts of service, though. I like when he jumps in to help out when I’m stressed out the most. Quality time is also very important to me. I like our (at least) once a month date nights to recharge and reconnect with each other.

When you go to the site you can even take the quiz about your children. I may do that and leave it for another post this month. If you take the quiz on yourself, your partner, or your kids, I’d love to hear your results. You can also check out the book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts to learn more about the 5 Love Languages. Have you ever read the book or taken the quiz to learn about your Love Language?

Note: This is a personal post but may include affiliate links.

About Paula

Paula Krueger considers herself a “baby “chef, not because she cooks for babies, but because she’s still learning how to cook. She started this blog after taking Wilton method classes and at that point was more interested in baking. She’s since become more interested in learning to cook as her family has grown. She also covers product reviews and travel as well.


  1. Five Love Languages is a great concept! I read The Perfect Pet for Peyton by Dr. Gary Chapman to my kids as well, to help them understand the idea and figure out what their languages are. It introduces it in storybook form.

    BTW: My top language is Quality TIme. Peter is Words of Affirmation and Physical Touch, if you were wondering. My daughter is Gifts and Physical Touch, and my son is Physical Touch and Quality Time. I am a not-touchy person living with a lot of people who really need a lot of snuggles and affection! Some days, I am just touched out! But I try!