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My babies: Baby #1

So I was originally going to write one post about all my babies and post it the day before baby girl arrives this week. I got started writing and just writing about Baby #1 the post was already over 300 words, so I decided to make it a week long series telling you about each one of my kids one day this week leading up to Baby Girl’s arrival on Friday. This first post is not a happy one, and I apologize for that, but I didn’t want to leave out the hopes and dreams tied up in Baby #1.

Pregnancy Loss, MiscarriageMy husband and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby right around our first anniversary. We were so excited! I remember we went on our anniversary trip to St Augustine for a weekend and we’d lay in bed and talk about the baby in the mornings and everything was just so exciting thinking about starting our family. A few weeks after we got home from our trip I started bleeding, a LOT. Charlie couldn’t get out of work so I went to the appointment by myself to the ultrasound. I immediately knew that the baby had died because I could no longer see it moving on the monitor. I had to go into the office and talk to my OB on the phone since it wasn’t even done by him. He immediately scheduled me for a D&C the next morning. I had no idea there were options of having the baby naturally, I just did what I was told. I went in the next morning and it was like a haze. I remember getting the IV and asking how long it would take for the drugs to kick in. The next thing I knew I was coming out of surgery in the recovery room. It was a bad dream that didn’t go away for a long time. Still, over 10 years later, I question things like “What if the ultrasound was wrong?” I saw the baby not moving, but never getting to touch, feel, hold, see for myself… makes it hard to process.

We never did find out if the baby was a boy or a girl so it never got a name. I never got any kind of keepsake from carrying that baby for 12 weeks except for my memories. Do you have a miscarriage story? Feel free to link up if you’ve told it on your blog.

 

Paula About Paula

Paula Krueger considers herself a "baby "chef, not because she cooks for babies, but because she's still learning how to cook. She started this blog after taking Wilton method classes and at that point was more interested in baking. She's since become more interested in learning to cook as her family has grown. She also covers product reviews and travel as well.

Comments

  1. I am so sorry you had to deal with losing a baby. {HUG}

    I do have a story – but it’s still not something I talk about often. And when I do, I end in tears.

    (I think you’ve read my story – but it’s here: http://sensiblysara.com/2012/09/heartache-remembered/)
    Sara Phillips´s last blog post ..Don’t miss out on a football game – make DiGiorno for dinner! #GameTimeGoodies #shop #cbias

  2. so sorry for your loss…I was going to write about mine- but then thought- id better not- 5 recurrent miscarriages- it may never fit on this page.

    hugs

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